Do you fancy yourself as a politician? Is the One Nation Party too competent for your liking? Do you think the lower house is the place in Parliament you go to pee? Then you’re what we’re looking for at the Palmed Unit- I mean United Australia Party. Let’s face it, Canberra is becoming a circus. The only person who can fix it is a commonsense everyman like billionaire dinosaur-collector Clive Palmer. The problem with Australian politics is there are too many personality-driven parties. We need a party for everyone. That’s where the Palmer Unit- I mean United Australia Party comes in. While the Palmer United Party had its fair share of problems this time will be different because the party’s got a different name. But what are our policies? Well, we believe in giving a fair go to all graphic designers, no matter how shitty their work. When it comes to politics, Australians are sick of Labor and Liberal. They’re dying for a sensible third option. But that’s not gonna happen so let’s go with Clive. We’re planning to run candidates in every electorate in Australia. Now we know that sounds like a lot, but don’t worry we have a strict vetting policy. If you tick the box, you’re in. If you don’t tick the box, you’re in. Who knows where a career with the United Australia Party could lead? The Senate? Centrelink? Court?