So Much News, So Little Time: Trump’s Playboy Model Payoff & Iran Twitter Tantrum | The Daily Show

So Much News, So Little Time: Trump’s Playboy Model Payoff & Iran Twitter Tantrum | The Daily Show


Ever since Vladimir Putin annexed Trump’s balls
in Helsinki, President Trump has been having
a rough time back home. Right? Half of America thinks that
he acted treasonous with Putin, some Republicans are saying
that he’s being manipulated, and last week, Paul Ryan
furrowed his brow extra hard. -(laughter)
-So you know he means business. So things weren’t
going well for Trump, and then this story broke. Now the potential new bombshell
involving President Trump and his longtime
personal attorney. TV REPORTER: The president’s
longtime lawyer, former fixer Michael Cohen,
secretly recorded a conversation with
then-candidate Trump about former Playboy model
Karen McDougal, who claims she had a yearlong
affair with Mr. Trump more than a decade ago. TV REPORTER: Did Michael Cohen
betray you, Mr. President? TV REPORTER:
Tonight, President Trump ignoring reporters’ questions. Cohen, who a year ago said he’d take a bullet
for Mr. Trump, now says he puts family
and country first. (laughing) Yo, it’s… it’s funny how
everyone says they’re willing to take
a bullet for you until there’s an actual bullet
to take, and then they’re like, “No, what I meant is I will take
the bullet for you. “Like, I will, I will take it “like a courier from one place
to another. “Oh, you thought
I was gonna get shot? I’m your lawyer; we don’t
even hang out, dude.” So what we know right now is that Michael Cohen taped
himself and Donald Trump talking about paying off
a Playboy model for an affair, which is the perfect audiobook
for America’s road trip to hell. And, honestly, I’m a little
surprised that Cohen was secretly recording Trump,
because, let’s be honest, he doesn’t look smart enough
to work a tape recorder, right? He doesn’t have
that kind of face. It’s like if you came home
and you caught your golden retriever rifling
through your W-2s, you know? You’d be like, “Bad dog,
Patches, those are private.” Now, obviously,
if Cohen was secretly taping his conversations
with President Trump, that could be a huge deal. Although, the president
wants you to know that he has nothing to hide. President Trump took to Twitter
this morning, weighing-in on reports that his former
personal attorney Michael Cohen secretly recorded conversations
with him. The president said
it’s inconceivable that the government would break
into a lawyer’s office, then went on and called such
taping totally unheard of and perhaps illegal. He ended by saying,
“The good news is that your favorite president
did nothing wrong!” My favorite president? Why would he bring up
Martin Van Buren? I, like… He has done nothing wrong. Nothing at all. (cheering and applause) And you know what’s funny
about this story is that all of last week,
Trump was like, (mimics Trump): “Russia never
could have taped me without me knowing,
I’m too smart.” (normal voice):
And now he’s like, (mimics Trump):
“Oops, my own lawyer taped me without me knowing.” (normal voice): Like, honestly,
at this point, it would be weirder
if Russia didn’t have blackmail material on Trump,
because everyone seems to have blackmail material
on President Trump. Michael Cohen has tapes, Access Hollywood has tapes, Howard Stern has tapes, even Eric has tapes. Yeah, it’s true. His most prized possession
is a voice mail his dad left him during
a butt dial. -So… so Michael Cohen…
-(audience exclaims Your heart– She’s like…
(crying) (laughter and applause) So Michael Cohen’s secret tape was already some bad news
for Trump, but then he got even worse news. You see, the FBI released
documents showing that they had good reasons
to get a wiretap on Trump’s former campaign aide,
Carter Page. In other words,
not a witch hunt, or as Trump put it, (mimics Trump):
“Total witch hunt.” TV REPORTER: The president,
without evidence, insists the documents vindicate
his claim that the Russia probe
is a partisan witch hunt, tweeting, “Looking more and
more like the Trump campaign for president was illegally
being spied upon for the political gain
of crooked Hillary Clinton.” TV REPORTER: But even some in
the president’s own party say the documents don’t show
misconduct in the investigation. I have a different view on it. I don’t think
it’s broad of any– part of any broader plot. The only plot here is the plot to interfere in our election
by the Russians. You know, it’s amazing how Trump
will hold up something that doesn’t vindicate him
at all, and with complete confidence
just claim that it does. Like, like if Trump tried on
a bloody glove and it fit perfectly,
he’d just roll with it. He’d be like, (mimics Trump):
“That’s right. “These are my gloves,
and as we all know, “nobody with gloves this nice
could commit murder, folks. “The defense rests. I’m going home.” So right now
Trump is in a bad way. They found his lawyer’s
secret tapes, and it turns out that the FBI
did have a valid reason to investigate his people. Plus the president just saw
this really disturbing video of a waitress body slamming
a perfectly nice customer. He’s having a bad time. It’s a full-on barrage
of problems. So late last night Trump reacted
by grabbing his tweet box and created a problem
for all of us. Breaking news.
Overnight, the president threatening war with Iran. Language that raises
new concerns. President Trump fired off
this threat: “To Iranian President Rouhani, “never, ever threaten
the United States again “or you will
suffer consequences, “the likes of which
few throughout history have ever suffered before.” He was in all caps, which means
he was yelling back at Iran. (laughter) What? What are you…? Why is he explaining caps lock
to Fox viewers? They’re old, they’re not Amish. Like, come on. He’s like, “Now, there’s also a
yellow face with a smile on it. It’s not a real person.
That’s a…” But yes, President Trump
has made an all-caps threat to destroy another country. And remember,
this is the same way he threatened fire and fury
on North Korea. Yeah. And then six months later
totally caved to Kim Jong-un. Yeah, so there’s a good chance
that in a few months we’ll see Trump saluting Iran and America will be
under sharia law. Yeah. He’ll be like, “I gave Iran
everything they wanted, folks, and now there will be peace
inshallah.” Yeah. It’s-it’s either that… (cheering and applause) It’s either that
or America is headed for a war. But the good news is
you stopped thinking about Michael Cohen and Russia,
so mission accomplished.

100 comments

  1. Trump has been receiving such bad publicity since his inauguration – and yet nothing seems to stick to him. WTF? Let some SHIT stick to bring this mutha f* down already – SUPPOSED TO BE GOVERNMENT FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE! Fuck!

  2. If anyone is a fool it’s you. While you continue to spew hate and division trump continues to do great things for the United States Jaja fuck off

  3. How does it feel to have a American president that is controlled by Puttin. Hope you like living as a Russian.

  4. sad to still see those "fake patriot's" still back him like he has the best interest in mind for our country.

  5. Uh-oh, we pushed Trump too hard with all this scandal shit and now at last, America must play the hit new game show,
    "Make The President Happy or he Kickstarts World War 3!"

  6. impeach this cancer already and lock them all up //// don't call him mr president just CALL HIM POS TRUMP POS TRUMP AND HE WILL ANSWER YOU ,,,,,BELIEVE ME……  https://youtu.be/urMsr55b25Y   // POS Trump Avoids Reporters and Lies About His Tariffs

  7. I hate to admit it "I voted for Nixon", but you'll have to forgive me I was 19 at the time and the other choice was McGovern. I'm now 64 and because of Trump I'm learning more about how truly creepy Nixon was. Trump makes Nixon look like an amature. So if history is repeating it's self how do we draw the wisdom of past experiences. Hum let's see: VP Agnew resigned due to TAX EVASION, Nixon resigned about Watergate Break in. So if you really want to start the ball rolling one must ask why Pence has hired a lawyer? Then the IRS is now being called in on Trump. I just recently came across a Website on how the FBI just couldn't seem to pin down Mob Boss Al Capone until they called in the IRS and got him by the 'TAX EVASION BALLS'. I have been enlightened to the power of our beloved Internal Revenue service and I have faith they will get Trump the same way and I hope they squeeze good and hard. Have a nice day and follow your bliss.

  8. Hahahahahah.. The Trump Muslim conversion scene at the State of the Union Address is just insane. The funny part is that I can imagine that happening 😂😂

  9. Now the version of Iran's Sharia law is not the same as the laws that were written in the Qur'an. Their version of Islam was changed by the Husband of The Prophet, Muhammad ( PUHN). He got mad at his father in law, the Prophet because the Prophet would not name him his Heir after his Daughter died. Leaving an only Son. It was this child that the Prophet (PUHN) that he named his Heir. It seems that only a person related to the Prophet can become the Guardian of the teachings of God/Allah & the Mosque that was built by the Prophet Abraham(PUHN) & his first born son, Ismail, of the Hand-Maid of his Wife, Shara.

    The main problem with this son in law was that his tribe really missed some of their old Pagan ways. Like not being allowed to keep the Dowery of their wife & not being able to grow tired of the wife. They'd just drag her to the market place & proclaim for all to see that he divorces Her by say that he divorces her 3 times. Then he'd leave her there. Homeless & with only what he decided to leave with her. He usually kept the children. Oh but, my bad you Nazis & KKK like to treat your women that badly

  10. Hey fleckman, and haters and scum bags like you continue to be more ignorant and hateful by the minute. It’s pieces of shit like you that have total hate in their heart and stupidity between your ears to even comprehend the economic good trump is responsible for. Now Fuck Off

  11. Looooooooool. A bearded islamic Trump would be the funniest shit ever. I bet his supporters would still follow him.
    They be like "inch'Allah Trump 2020"

  12. "Take a bullet from Mr. Trump" and "I put family and country first"

    Cohen flip flops in his statements for his own convenience.

  13. Dear international white community, there is no farmer genocide in SA!! All there is is an ongoing, I repeat ONGOING, not so silent, battle between farmers and farm workers. Sometimes farmers are killed heinously then farm workers are killed just as heinously, the only difference is that the farm workers are treated humiliatingly then fed to lions and that is the side you never hear of. Apparently, psychological torture to death is not as terrible as a farmer getting shot at. Don’t believe all you hear, it just depends on the propaganda you choose to listen to , at that point in time. We, however, have an ear to the ground. We shout in outrage when our black fellowman are killed and cringe with sadness when their white counterparts are murdered. Atrocities are double sided, That’s our life!!

  14. 1. Now, let us ruminate the fact that Trump claimed he knew nothing about the hush payment. And Trump supporters are still saying he is not a liar?
    2. IMO, conservatives demonized Obama so much that they have a distorted standard of judging a person's character. When a real demon takes over the White House, they worship it as if it was Jesus.
    3. "He was yelling back at Iran." Did Iran yell at Trump in the first place? WTF??

  15. GOOD FOR SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA, COHEN BETRAYED SATAN, JUST LIKE HOW SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER BETRAYED AMERICA WITH RUSSIA PUTIN ON 2016 ELECTION AND THE MAFIA / MOBSTER GANGSTERS SUMMIT MEETING. …. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER. …THINK ABOUT HOW SATAN BETRAYED AMERICA AND AMERICANS.

  16. GOOD COHEN !!!!!!……BETRAYED SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA ……JUST LIKE HOW SATAN BETRAYED AMERICA AND AMERICANS.

  17. NOW SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA IS TRYING TO BETRAYED IRAN? ?????? WITH WAR…..SATAN TRY TO BETRAYED NORTH KOREA WITH WAR, BUT KIM JONG WAS TOO INTELLIGENT FOR SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. ….IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. ..

  18. IRAN IS NOT AFRAID OF SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. …..SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA HAVE HIS OWN INVESTIGATION CORRUPTION WITH RUSSIA WHY NOT WAR WITH RUSSIA ABOUT THE 2016 ELECTION SATAN? ???

  19. WHY SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA DOESN'T TRY THE WAR WITH AMERICA ENEMY PUTIN? ????? TRY THAT WITH. …..RUSSIA SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. ….IF SATAN IS NOT A BLOODY COWARD TO RUSSIA. …..TRY IT IF U THINK U BAD SATAN. …YEAH SATAN U THINK U BAD TRY IT WITH RUSSIA. ..? SATAN

  20. SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA IS RUNNING OUT OF COUNTRIES HE WANT TO START WAR WITH….BECAUSE SATAN COULD CHA IRON COHEN WILL RELEASE MORE TAPES TO FBI MULLER. ……NO PLACE TO HIDE SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. ……

  21. SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. …IT IS NOT GOOD TO SEWED BAD SEEDS….BECAUSE THE DAYS AND YEARS SURELY IS ON SATAN TO REAP HIS BAD SEEDS….

  22. SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. …..CANNOT PLANT CORN AND LOOK FOR PEAS. …..BE CAUSE LOOK HOW SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA LIFE IS ENDING UP???????

  23. SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. ….LIFE SHOULD BE ENDING UP LIKE PRESIDENT OBAMA. …TO ENJOY LIFE, HAPPINESS, WITH WIFE AND LAUGHTER…….

  24. NOW SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA. ….LIFE IS ENDING AT A TRIPLE AGE SENIOR IN SADNESS, CORRUPTION, COLLUSION, CONFUSION, LIES, DISHONESTY, DESTRUCTION, UNHAPPY WITH HIMSELF AND WIFE, THEN LOOKING FORWARD TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL……BECAUSE OF CHEATING ON HIS WIFE……WHICH IS ADULTRY. …

  25. DAMN IT THIS DEVIL LEADER OF USA IS SO MESS UP IN CORRUPTION, LIES, ADULTRY. .. AT SUCH SENOIR CITIZEN AGE……

  26. SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA THINK HE LIVING LIFE…….WITH ALL THES CORRUPTION, LIES DISHONESTY TO HIS WIFE WHO GOING ON WITH THE DISGRACE, SHAME AND DOUBTS EVERY DAY ON HOW SATAN TREATING HER…..PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. I UNDERSTAND THAT SATAN THE DEVIL LEADER OF USA DOESN'T CARE A DAMN ABOUT HOW HE IS CORRUPTED AND BRINGING AMERICA AND AMERICANS DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH HIM……

  28. Tr*mp, unfortunately, is a good argument for controlling an individual’s rights of internet consumption. I can’t begin to imagine what the average person living & working in Iran must feel like ‘knowing’ they are constantly under the threat of annihilation by the United States because Tr*mp is a maniac…

  29. Martin Van Buren is not the one to blame, despite his nickname Martin Van Ruin. Jackson’s anti-federal bank stance destabilized our economy and caused the Panic of 1837, and it’s about time we accept that.

  30. he's essentially pulling a Neville Chamberlain with Russia but apprently we're living in a sitcom so let's see how far this rabbit hole goes

  31. Trump will either be a footnote, or an entire chapter of "DO we have to remember this Crazy shit?"! in future history books.

  32. All The donald had to do is answer Cohen's calls, and this would (or wouldn't) have been wiped under the rug…

  33. Everybody has proof. But White-Amerikkkans and those sellouts protect him. This government is a joke. You write pretty words then treat people like sh#t. America hasn't been great since the Aboriginees "native Americans".

  34. Ok it's kinda off topic but there was a survey on the president link before this vid and after you get asked to donate to Trump. WTH? Anyone else find this thing?

  35. Trevor saw the future.
    Trump threatened Iran,
    and according to the latest episode, he offered to talk to Iran's governement.

    The president is officially a parody of himself.

  36. My best friend is in a group called ALA, and they were supposed to meet the preside at the white house( none of them really wanted to) But when they went to meet him, he went golfing instead.

  37. "You stopped thinking about bad news and russia, so mission accomplished" Trevor verbalised Trump's motives!

  38. Trump will attack Iran together with Saudi Arabia. That's for sure because Iran is the biggest threat to the middle east.

  39. Throwing lies and propagandas st iran left and right. Btw iran have never been under Sharia law. that's for Sunni's, like your loved one country Saudi Arabia that you never talk about

  40. I feel like this is a good time to remind people that in the 2000 election one of the main themes of the Repubs was that electing them would "restore honor and integrity to the White House." And now, 16 years later…

  41. Buy JCP frsh shld not the crap of e commerce techohology entertainment they teach that live needs tools too much and then they make the nation 's people under 30 act dum for their money then the traditional companies go out for the rebellious people in L.A. and other cities not cool they pay more for appl amzn baba it's crazy

  42. The important thing is future generations of America is going to study his history. What are they going to study? How to have affairs? How to pay them off to cover it later? Really America is going to lose it's glory before he steps down. Why the hell he needs Mexico fund for his campaign promises? What the hell? He's setting a stupid standard to American presidency.

  43. Ivanka Trump's Longtime Makeup Artist Is A Mexican Immigrant — But Says "Nothing's Changed"
    https://www.refinery29.com/2018/08/206778/ivanka-trump-makeup-artist-alexa-rodulfo-mexican-immigrant

  44. im persian … and i have mostly the same point of view and philosophy u have underneath ur comedy ,… u k we persians we have a great great history of comedy , meaningful and sometimes political comedy… like what u do …and believe me we do it perfectly ,,, and man ure a genius

  45. I hate that the president gets to decide who to fight and who to make allies with, I think we should have a vote for war just like when we vote for the jackass in office….I mean loving wonderful young mr. president Donald trump. (I hope he doesn’t find me on Twitter)

  46. Considering Trump's deceptive business practice's, it's pretty much expected that someone would have their meetings recorded. They better.

  47. Trevor, has Tomi Lahren done a show commenting on the actions of those teens rebuking/mocking the Native American?

  48. As a Iranian American, when I saw Trump with a turban on his head I laughed so hard I threw up.
    Perhaps you should put it in as a warning at the beginning of the show that it may cause sickness 🤣🤣🤣

  49. hey look at that, more lies from the comedy central diversity hire that turned out to be factually inaccurate, and the sheep EleGiggle and 4Head.
    remember when comedy central wasn't state run media?

  50. "The likes of which few have ever seen before" is right. It's been rare for the United States to say "Thank you, sir, may I have another?" this many times.

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