Ross Noble Predicts the News | Comedy Bigmouths | My5

Ross Noble Predicts the News | Comedy Bigmouths | My5


The weird thing about Piers
Morgan is that, like, he picks a fight with, like, the
best people on the planet. The fact that J.K Rowling, who
is, like, possibly the greatest human being who has ever
lived and Piers Morgan’s gone, ‘I’ll have a go at her’.
You go what… what are you doing?! Just pick somebody slightly
further down the… – …do you know what I mean?
– A bit more his level? Pick a Mills and Boon writer! Just pick somebody that writes,
you know, ‘Sapphire & Lace’! I reckon Morgan will… …let’s say three. If I was him, I would release
four or five albums. All in one day. And let people buy them and then
it’s just him humming but it’s just one note!
It’s not even songs! It’s just him going
‘mmmmmmmmmmmm’. And then it would go into
the charts and then they would have to play,
no video, just him… ‘mmmmmmmmmmmm’ – at number 9,
it’s Ed Sheeran humming… ‘mmmmmmmmmmmm’. I’m gonna say… …seven. I think Egypt will do very badly
because when their goalkeeper goes up for the ball,
he goes up like that. Instead of with two hands! Or like this. He goes to catch the ball, and
he’s like that…or that! So I’m going to say… Togo are going to win. Well, you know how, like,
Toberlones have basically changed shape? And I think
that’s all down to Brexit. I think that the main thing is
that French fancies… …the Mr Kiplings
French fancies… …like, basically, you’re still
allowed fancies… …but they won’t be French. So Mr Kipling is going
to kill himself. Is he still alive? Well if he… …yeah! If you check his health, he’s
doing exceedingly good! (laughs) Exceedingly good!
Never mind. Everything’s going
to be amazing. We’re going to trigger
Article 50. There’s going to be dancing
in the streets and everyone’s going to be
wearing golden shoes! And anything that’s written
on the side of a bus will come true!

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