Alternative Math | Short Film


Oh, hi Danny come on in. Looks like you’re having
some trouble with addition. Now don’t be upset. You’re here to learn.
And we learn from mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. Nuh-uh. Look at this question here. What is 2 + 2? See you wrote 22. But when we do addition we don’t just
put the numbers next to each other. That’s stupid. Alright, think about it this way. If I have two markers in this hand… …and then I add the two markers from this hand… How many markers do I have now? Twenty-two! No, Danny. It’s four. Mrs. Wells? We’re Danny’s parents. Oh yes! Hello. Please, come in. Now don’t worry. It’s completely normal for kids to get frustrated when they’re struggling with a subject. So what’s this about Danny getting some
answers wrong on this so-called test of yours? We had a test. One of the questions was what is 2 + 2. Danny answered 22. And? And that’s not the right answer. Says who? Says math. Are you calling my son stupid? No, of course not! Who are you to say that your
answer is right and that his is wrong? No no, she’s right. Thank you. Right out of Nazi Germany. You can’t honestly tell me that you
don’t know what two plus two equals. So you’ve got it all figured out, don’t you. You smart-ass little tramp. Uhhhhhh Uhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh. What are you? Some kind of retard? Alright! I’m sorry, I’m not going to
be able to continue this conversation. We’re going to complain to the principal about you. Danny is a free thinker! I’ll have your job, bitch. Not if you can’t add two and two together you won’t. Mrs. Wells. Oh, sorry Principal. I didn’t see you. I understand you had an issue yesterday
with the parents of one of our students. It did get a little crazy. When things get out of hand I really
need you to let me know about it. Sure. So how do you want to handle it? I guess you could apologize. Apol- What? His mom hit me! I understand you told Danny he had
a wrong answer on his test. He did have a wrong answer on his test. It’s not our job to tell students
when they’re right and wrong. That is exactly what our job is. Parents don’t want you ramming your
biased views down their kids’ throats. That’s not biased. That’s how math works. You know what doesn’t work? Your attitude. Maybe I can explain this in math terms,
so you can understand. If you took all the kids in this classroom, and divided them by zero, that’s exactly the amount of respect you’re giving them. Something you’d like to say? You can’t divide a number by zero and get zero. So now I’m stupid. Just some crazy administrator doing paper work, while you superstar teachers change the world! Students Count! Teachers Divide! Stop undermining our kids’ confidence! Are you going to apologize to the parents? Why did you even start teaching if you hate children? Please have a seat, Mrs. Wells. Thank you. You know, I honestly think this will all
blow over if we just wait a week or so. I’m afraid we can’t do that. Why not? They’re suing. For what? Emotional distress to a minor. Mrs. Wells, can you please tell
the members of this board exactly when you became aware of this fiasco and the events leading up to the riot. Riot? I just told a student that two plus two equals four. We need for you to recant that. What? Just say that you’re open to the possibility that
there might be multiple correct answers. But that’s not true. We can’t let them bully us. This is so stupid! Stupid. That’s your problem.
Anyone who disagrees with you is stupid. There is nothing to disagree with.
There is only one correct answer. For your sake, I certainly hope you have that correct answer when the media gets wind of this. I do. It’s four. I have my own answer. This school minus you equals tomorrow. You’re firing me? Suspending. While you reconsider your extremist views. You brought this on yourself. TV: Breaking News. In what’s being called Mathgate an activist elementary school teacher was caught abusing her student’s First Amendment Rights. So this teacher, this liberal elitist,
tells this innocent little first-grade kid that his answer is wrong. Only her answer is acceptable. Yeah, from what I hear, she doesn’t even keep
these students for more than a year. After that, they all leave her and go to another teacher. It’s called graduating! It’s creating some good healthy debate in this country. Some experts say that 2 + 2=4. Others say that it’s 22. No they don’t! If you hate America that much,
why don’t you just go teach in Commie France. Hello? (Principal) Hello, Mrs. Wells. The Board decided that for everyone’s benefit,
your services will no longer be required. For everyone’s benefit? How about the kids? I need you to come by the school tomorrow. We don’t want you radicalizing our students anymore. Mrs. Wells, thank you so much for coming. I’m just so sorry it happened this way. If only you’d been willing to be more open-minded. About math? What about academic integrity? You were warned. Given an explanation. And yet you persisted. But we will of course fulfill our financial obligations. Now, that’s $2,000 for your last pay period,
and $2,000 for this one. So that’s $4,000. Wrong. It’s twenty-two thousand! to

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